I'm sorry to inform you Reese, but your membership has been denied. Just. Like. This.

Motherhood is a competitive world.  While we don’t always admit it, there is a part of every mom that thinks the other moms don’t know how good they have it.  If you work full time you think stay at home moms have a cake walk each day just watching tv and shopping.  If you are a stay at home mom, you think working moms live the high life because they aren’t having to suffer through endless amounts of Dora the Explorer while their children ransack the house.  But there is one kind of mom that both working and stay at home moms can agree really get under their skin – the Hollywood mom. 

Hollywood moms can be defined as a mom with any amount of children who fancy themselves with the celebrity lifestyle.  They have a bottomless bank account, help of all kinds at the tip of their fingertips, and are able to get to the gym on a daily basis to work with their own personal trainer.  But despite that, the one thing that the regular moms just cannot stand is when Hollywood moms try to find times to normalize themselves as one of us.

Take Reese Witherspoon for example.  The other day she posted the following picture on her Instagram page with this quote, “People ask me how I do it all – having three kids and a full time job?  This is how.  Just.  Like. This.”

There are so many things wrong with that posting that I’m not sure where to begin.  How about we start with the fact that you are napping.  What working mom or stay at home mom has taken a nap lately?   Reese, the fact that you are taking a nap doesn’t make me feel like your life is all that busy at the moment.  On the contrary it does just the opposite given the fact that you seem to have the time during the day to nap.  I think the last time I was able to take a nap was in 2012. 

Next, let’s talk about the part that says “People ask me how I do it all”.  First off, who are these people and secondly please send them my way.  It will give me some validation for everything I do on a daily basis. 

Finally, let’s talk about this full time job part.  I understand that as an actress you work a lot and I am sure you have long days.  However, I also remember seeing your Instagram posts during awards season.  Your long workdays seemed to consist of luncheons, banquets, and parties.  And let’s not forget that during these “work days” you required full on glam squad time with your hair, make-up, and nail stylist.   

It’s not that we don’t think Hollywood moms work hard or have stressful days.  It’s just that we don’t want them thinking that they can relate to us.  We don’t have personal assistants to run our errands.  Or chefs to cook our family’s food.  We don’t have the luxury of personal trainers or housekeepers or gardeners.  What we want from Hollywood moms is to remember that you belong to a special club to which we will never know.  Likewise we want you to remember that as down to earth as you think you are, as humble of roots that you might come from, and as normal an existence that you think you live, you will not be given membership to our club.  And if you decide that you would like to try to join our club we will have no choice but to turn you down.  Just.  Like.  This. 

Unfortunately, we are a busy group of women and we just don’t have time for your shenanigans or your excessive amount of time to take naps.

Reese later changed the caption to this picture to say "Where I do my best work . . . ."

Much better Reese, but the answer is still no.