We are all given
special gifts. There are people who are great athletes or wonderful
musicians or talented artists. We are each uniquely designed to be better
than some people in certain areas. It’s not always fair, but its life. When you are given a great gift the most important thing is that you embrace it for all it’s worth and don’t
waste it. Wasting a talent is like a big giant slap in the face to
everyone else who isn’t as fortunate as you. If you are given the gift of
music, you learn how to play instruments. If you are given the gift of
art, you crate things. And if you are given the gift of good looks, you
don’t hide your beautiful face behind terrible facial hair or a heinous
haircut. Yes, Jared Leto, I’m referring to you.
Back in the days of
“My So Called Life”, flannel shirts, and using the word “like” way more than
needed, Jared Leto was the essence of hotness. He was so good looking
without even trying. He didn’t need to have a spray tan or work out or be
dressed in designer clothes. He was hot just by existing. But
somewhere after Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano walked away hand in hand with
our hearts in tow something changed in Jared Leto. He slowly evolved from
beautiful man to hot rocker to panhandler chic.
For years Jared Leto
has metaphorically flipped off society by hiding his gorgeous grill under
layers upon layers of nasty beards and overflowing long hair. Until one
fateful day the stars aligned and he took a sharp blade to what had become the
bane of our existence. When I heard he was finally getting rid of the
“homeless man with ombre hair” look I thought “Yes! He’s going to be hot
again. It’s been too long.” Shortly after, there was a
picture posted online that showed his new clean cut look that left us
salivating with a renewed hope that hot Jared Leto was reemerging after years
of hiding. This black and white picture reminded us why we loved Jared
Leto all those year ago, even during that dreadful period when he dated Cameron
Diaz. This feeling of rejuvenation was short lived when the next picture
of Jared Leto that surfaced showed his hair was bleached blonde and he was in
some ridiculous outfit.
We were torn between despair
and humiliation while again Jared Leto got the last laugh. Here we are reminiscing
about the old days when hot Jared Leto graced the magazine covers while he sat back and just waited to crush our dreams. We were saying our final goodbyes to that mangy
mop and Jesus like beard when just as quickly as he came back hot Jared Leto
vanished into the mist. Yes, you can
argue that he looks better now than he has in years, but what consolation is
that when you have looked terrible for years on end.
Basically we have
taken one step forward only to take two steps back all the while still holding out hope that hot
Jared Leto will return someday. Hot
Jared Leto if you are out there and can hear me please know that we haven’t
given up hope. We understand that you
are an artist and musician who takes his craft seriously, but at the end of the
day you are still our Jordan Catalano and we miss you. Please come back.
Somewhere deep down inside and hidden behind bad facial hair, you are just itching to come out to us.
I'm sorry but this is not going to make the People Magazine's Most Beautiful People issue
Hot Jared Leto, if you can hear us come towards the light.
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