The smack I will not talk

When you are a true fan of a celebrity, you will defend them to the death.  No matter what they do, no matter how bad it looks, you are always there to fight the good fight even in the worst situations.

This is the attitude I take when it comes to Britney Spears.  I am by no means saying that she hasn’t slipped up a time or two.  However, every time she does something outrageous and I begin to bad mouth her, I just can’t.  As soon as I start agreeing with the naysayers, I remember all of the awesomeness that she encompasses.  I flashback to her performance of “I’m a slave 4 you” when she carried the snake around her neck at the VMAs, or to her “Toxic” video, or to the glory days of her and Justin Timberlake.  Once I remember these situations, I immediately think, “Man, she is awesome.”  Which brings me to my point. 

A true fan never talks smack.  Ever.  No matter how bad it is, you can always find the positive side of your celebrity.  No matter how bad it might make you look, a true fan defends.  

To show you what I mean I will take the most horrific Britney moments and demonstrate how a true fan sees it.

  The public’s point of view
She has really lost it now.

A true fan’s point of view

Every Southern girl knows a pearl necklace dresses up any outfit.

 

 

The public’s point of view

Ok, so totally dangerous.

A true fan’s point of view

It’s never too early to start teaching your children about driving.  We don’t want them to grow up to drive like Lindsey Lohan do we?

 

The public’s point of view

Hasn’t she ever heard of underwear?

A true fan’s point of view

Panty lines can really ruin any outfit.

 

You see, a true fan always sees the positive side of even the worst moments in a celebrity’s life.  While others might think we are crazy, we will defend our celebrity no matter what without even thinking twice.  That’s just what we fans do.

So on that note,  I would just like to say, don’t worry Britney.  You just keep on doing your thing.  We’ve got your back.

Admit it, you have one too.

I have one and you know you do too.  Some people don’t talk about it, but you know they have thought about it at some point in time.  It’s not just something you can whimsically put together.  It takes time, a thought process, and maybe a little justification.  But whatever you decide, you know that when push comes to shove you are just a little bit proud of it.  It is of course your Hollywood Top 5 list. 

We all know what the Hollywood Top 5 list is, but in case you don’t I’ll explain it.  Basically, it’s a list of five people from Hollywood that given the chance encounter, you get a free pass with your significant other.  We all joke about it and laugh off the chance that anything will ever come of it, but you never know when fate will step in.  That’s why it’s always best to let your significant other know who is on your list and when any changes are made to the list.  When the time comes, you want to make sure that you are good to go.  After all the saying does go, “All is fair in love and war (and in Hollywood).”

My husband claims he doesn’t have a list at all.  Sometimes when we are watching TV I will say to him “What about her? Don’t you think she is pretty?” to which he replies “She’s ok I guess.”  Why won’t he just admit it?   Is he afraid that I will judge him?  Is he afraid that I will feel threatened?  Or is he afraid that if he agrees with me he has become one of us – a fan of Hollywood.

My top 5 has pretty much remained consistent for the past 10 years.  My top 3 tend to rotate spots depending on their current condition such as appearance, good/bad press, and associates.  For example, my top spot usually goes to Justin Timberlake.  However, during the Cameron Diaz years, he was bumped down a few notches by Nick Lachey or Ryan Reynolds. 

We all also might have one or two ghosts on our list.  A ghost is someone we like, but we might not admit too freely for fear of social scrutiny.  The ghosts are used as a substitute when an original top 5 member has somehow disappointed us.  However, once our regular top 5 member has redeemed themselves, the ghost is put back in their proper spot. 

One of my ghosts is Don Draper from Mad Men.  I know he is not technically a real person, but he’s just much more regal and debonair than John Hamm.  I also have Neil Patrick Harris on as a ghost.  I know I know – he’s gay, but man he is so cute.  And to those of you who might be judging me right now, you don’t have a leg to stand on if you have Justin Bieber on your top 5 list.

I will end this post by asking you to stand up for what’s right.  Stand up for your beliefs.  Stand up for yourself.  Stand up for your top 5 list. 

To my coveted top 5 men, my affection for you is best summed up by a lyric from Christina Aguilera:

“What I want, is what you got and what you got, is what I want.”    

The short end of the hair extension

Its official – my blog has gone global.  That’s right - global.  Apparently there are people reading this blog in Great Britain, Germany, and Russia.  Granted, it’s only 3 people in Great Britain, 1 person in Germany, and 1 person in Russia, but regardless, global is global.  My husband told me not to get too excited because it is “probably just some old guy in his underwear waiting for you to up load pictures”.  Whateves – I’m international baby!

Let me begin this entry by saying I love Jessica Simpson.  I think she is a phenomenal singer, extremely pretty, and a very smart business woman. 

However, while I am a huge fan I have to say that over the years she has made her fair share of mistakes, most notably ending her marriage to Nick Lachey.  Along with his amazing good looks and smooth as silk voice, he seemed to have been a great husband.  From our perspective, we can tell that he supported her in every way including her decision to remain pure until marriage. 

That’s why I can only assume that the words “Are you kidding me?” came out of his mouth when he found out that she had gotten pregnant out of wedlock with her “former NFL player” boyfriend Eric Johnson.  If I was Nick, I would have taken that as the ultimate slap in the face.    

Now, while Jessica Simpson is very pretty we have to admit, she ain’t what she used to be.  I am not trying to be disrespectful with that comment, but let’s be honest people.  Think back to that Dukes of Hazard video where she is washing the General Lee in the pink bikini.  And then think of her now.  Actually it doesn’t have to be now, just think of her within the last 3 years.  Of course she is still very pretty, but she definitely isn’t what she was when she was with Nick. 

That’s why I can only assume that words “Are you kidding me?” had to have come out of her current fiancé’s mouth at some point in time.  You know he has to have seen pictures of her from back in the “Newlyweds” days and thought “Will I ever be with that girl?”

It makes you wonder which one made out better in the end - Nick or Eric.  Nick got the body, but Eric got the instant gratitude. 

I guess that leaves us with just one question.  Who got the short end of the stick, or in Jessica Simpson’s case, the short end of the hair extension?

I guess we will never know.

My name is Katie, and I'm addicted to the Kardashians.

My name is Katie, and I’m addicted to the Kardashians.

Ok, so it’s not something I’m proud of, but it is what it is. I am an addict. I am addicted to the show “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I tell myself each week to change the channel, but somehow I end up on E! watching the same episode that I have watched a hundred times before. It’s like I’m on a strange drug binge that I have no awareness of until the show is over.

 
The most amazing thing is that though I am addicted to the Kardashians, I also can’t stand them. It annoys me that they have their own television show. It annoys me that they are rich. It annoys me that they are famous.

Despite the fact that they are famous, their lives aren’t even that interesting. They have episodes of them getting their drivers license. Check – done that. They have episodes of them throwing baby showers. Check – done that. They have episodes of them making special appearances at nightclubs in Vegas. Check – done, wait – ok so I haven’t done everything they have but I’m pretty darn close.

But despite how much I dislike them, I also admire them. I appreciate the fact that they have curves and aren’t super skinny. I respect how they are religious. I like that they have expanded their brand to nail polish, clothes, and other merchandise.

But then I have this complete 180° turn. Why are they famous? They model but they aren’t even super skinny. Why are they famous? They cuss constantly and can be so extremely vulgar. Why are they famous? They wear the most ridiculous clothes. Have you seen the shoulder pads? I mean come on, it’s not 1987 anymore.

So the battle goes on. My emotional turmoil continues.

To love or hate the Kardashians - that is the question.

 

Honey Boo Boo - Everything that's wrong (and right) with America

Tonight was the season finale of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”.  In case you are unfamiliar with the show, it’s basically a reality television show about a low income family from rural Georgia.  The young star of the show “Honey Boo Boo” (Alana is her real name) is a six year old girl who loves what any 6 year old loves – child beauty pageants, dumpster diving, and playing with her pet pig.  As one of my friends put it “Honey Boo Boo is to Georgia what the Jersey Shore is to New Jersey.”  In a nutshell, it’s an embarrassment to everyone living in Georgia. 

Despite the fact that “Honey Boo Boo” is mildly amusing at best, I do find myself watching it from time to time.  Though I am not a regular viewer, I am always like a deer in headlights when watching the show.  It is hard to believe that it actually constitutes as entertaining, yet each week people still tune in.  Do we watch because it’s like a car accident and we just can’t divert our eyes?  Do we watch because it makes us feel better about our own lives?  Do we watch because we feel sorry for them? (The latter seems unlikely since I just found out they made $2,000-$4,000 per episode and are supposed to be making more next season.   Maybe dumpster diving doesn’t sound so bad after all?)

Regardless, many people can argue that “Honey Boo Boo” is what is wrong with America.  We have poor, uneducated people starring on a national television show.  They have the mouths of sailors, the hygiene of nomads, and the class of a band of hooligans.  But at some point you have to admit that the family got it right somewhere along the way.  They are the ones carrying that fat paycheck all the way to the bank with a great big toothless smile on their face. 

If you think about it, aren’t they a perfect example of the American dream?  They started from absolutely nothing and are “working” their way up to a better way of life.  Maybe they are not exactly what the Founding Fathers envisioned when they wrote the poetic lines of “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”, but they sure are living it.

So here’s to you Honey Boo Boo!  Keep on living that American dream – just try to stay out of the dumpster while doing it.

And the Emmy goes to . . . oh just get over yourself.

My new blog has drawn some interesting comments. My husband said something to the effect of "This is embarrassing." My sister said the blog was "too long for a blog post and therefore too long to read", and one of my friends said it "made her laugh out loud." Well, I guess we will just have to wait and see if my future post will still embarrass my husband, be too lengthy for my sister to read, and remain funny enough to make people to laugh out loud. But now on with business.

The Emmys are tonight and of course I am watching them. My favorite part of the show is the pre-show because I like to see what everyone is wearing. However, that does not mean I care about who they are wearing. I mean what kind of a question is that anyways? Do they think that the normal person out there watching is going to go out and buy that dress because they saw it on the Emmys? Not to mention the fact that they ask it to everyone they interview including the men. (Is is just me or do most of the tuxes look exactly the same?)

That is not what people want to know when celebrities are walking the red carpet. I wish they would ask them more practical questions like "Are you wearing Spanx?", "How many people and hours did it take to make you look this good?", or "Of all of the dresses out there, why in the world would you choose that one?"

I also feel like the Emmys, as well as the Oscars, Grammys, and every other awards show is about two hours too long.  For example, they just gave out the award for "Best Music in a Variety Series”.  It’s not that I feel these people shouldn’t be recognized, it’s just that they shouldn’t be recognized on national television.  What do they add to the entertainment value of the show?  Maybe  these categories are included to intentionally extend the length of the show in order to give celebrities more time on tv.  Maybe it's all just a ploy for celebrities to get more airtime and exposure.  

Because after all that's what these celebrities really need - more exposure.

Here goes nothing . . . please pass me the razor.

My friends and I call ourselves the LBDs.   LBD stands for "Loving Brit Daily".  Yes that is Brit as in Britney Spears.  I know, I know - Britney?!  Are you serious?  But please, everyone has to admit that there is a small part in them that loves the girl.  There is something about that pop music beat, southern accent, and bleached blond hair that has you singing along with the radio to "Oops!  I did it again!"  Even the naysayers have to admit that at times, she is cool.

While in the past it has been hard to be a Britney fan, the LBDs have never wavered in their support for the one and only.  At times, we LBDs make jokes about our little club, but deep down inside we are proud of it.  As I have said in the past, "I love Britney.  I don't care what people say, I just do."

I used to think that blogs were pretty ridiculous.  I mean do people really care about my life and thoughts, probably not.  But people do seem to have a lot of free time and some of those people like to spend it on the internet reading about mindless things.   Why not give them one more outlet to waste their time?  Therefore, I have decided that this blog will be dedicated to Britney, pop culture, and everything else in between. 

To be honest, it is a bit duanting to write a blog.  When you put something on the internet it's out there forever.  What if it turns into something I regret? 

I wonder if this is what Britney was thinking when she shaved her head. I am sure she probably didn't think it would define that period of her life.  She probably thought "Obviously this shouldn't be a big deal right?  It's just hair." 

Cut to me (no pun intended):  Obviously this blog I am writing shouldn't be a big deal right?  It's just a blog.  

But as the blond locks were falling to the ground maybe she began to think "Oh no, what if I have a horrible birthmark on my scalp?  What if this makes my face look fat?  What if this is a mistake?"

Cut to me:  What if no one thinks this is funny?  What if people don't get the humor in it?  What if this is a mistake?

But then I realize that at the end of the day who cares?  After all, it's just hair.  After all, it's just a blog.  And as another LBD member put it "Britney needed to shave her head.  Her hair was busted anyway."


Well here goes nothing . . . please pass me the razor.