Katie's Pop Culture: Man Daisy, your dukes sure did mess everything up.

Have you ever wondered how your life would be different if you had made a different choice? You might have thought, “If I had skipped that class in college like I planned I would never had met my future husband.” Or perhaps, “If I had only had the guts to get up at karaoke night and sing “Blurred Lines” then I would have been signed to that recording contract instead of her.” Or possibly, “If I had just listened to Jamie Lee Curtis and eaten Activia once a day like she suggested maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation now?”

We are all plagued with the “what ifs” of life. Some of those “what ifs” are easy to live with and some aren’t. I’m sure celebrities think the same thing. Kim Kardashian probably thinks, “What if I had never made that sex tape? Would I have been able to survive as a normal person and not as a celebrity?” Lindsey Lohan probably is thinking, “Would I still have a career today if I hadn’t made ‘Herbie: Fully Loaded’?” And surely Hank Baskett is thinking, “What if I had asked that “lady friend” of mine a few more questions? Would I still be happily married to Kendra?”

While all of these scenarios are hard to accept, the hardest “what if” to accept is this: What if Britney Spears had won the role of Daisy Duke in the “The Dukes of Hazard” movie instead of Jessica Simpson?

Sounds silly? Well, let me paint you a little picture. The year was 2004. For the most part, life was good. Katie Holmes had not yet made the worst career move of her life by dating Tom Cruise, Lindsey Lohan was starring in “Mean Girls” and undoubtedly her life was “so fetch”, and the relationship we all loved – that of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson – was still going strong (and airing on MTV for all of us to see). If there was one shadow cast on the year 2004 it was most obviously Britney’s marriage to Kevin Federline. Yeah, we all knew from the get go that was a bad decision.

What most people don’t know is that both Britney and Jessica auditioned for the role of Daisy Duke. Britney was a shoe in for the role if you ask me. She is a southerner, could pull off those inappropriately tiny shorts, and had just enough redneck in her to fully grasp the essence of Daisy. But by some twist of fate, Jessica Simpson won the role. Maybe Jessica was a better actress (doubtful, I mean have you seen Britney in “Crossroads”?). Maybe Jessica charmed the casting director with another endearing mix up of chicken and tuna. Maybe the director was a “Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica” fan and Britney just missed the cutoff with her own reality show “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic”.

I guess we might not ever know why life played out the way it did. All we know is once Jessica graced the world in those jean shorts life changed. Her relationship to Nick started to grumble and there were rumors going around that she was fooling around behind Nick’s back with Bam Margera from “Jackass”. Yuck. Not to mention Britney became preggers. While I’m sure she doesn’t regret having procreated with K-Fed that was undeniably the last nail in the coffin was that “Justin and Britney”. Call me crazy. Call me a dreamer. Call me whatever you want. Justin and Britney were life’s prom king and queen whose reign was cut short. Back in 2004 I was still holding out hope that those two crazy mouseketeers would find their way back to each other, but once that little nugget that is Sean Preston was brought into this world my hope started to dwindle (though it has never completely disappeared).

So here we are, 10 years later and life again is not what we expected. Jessica doesn't sing anymore, but instead is a successful clothing designer. She also designs a shoe line for strippers. Wait, they aren’t for strippers? Then why do they all have like a 5 inch heel? Britney is single (again) and is headlining a show in Vegas. On a side note, her hair has never looked better. Due to years of bad hair extensions, shaving her head and starting over was definitely the way to go. And our good friend Daisy is destined to live out her legacy in reruns on CMT. Hopefully, her dukes are hidden away dry rotting in a closet somewhere in Hollywood. If you ask me, that’s a small price to pay for messing everything up.