A throw down of epic proportions

I don’t think it matters if you come from a big family or a small family, there is always drama.  I grew up with three sisters and I can distinctly remember some massive fights and arguments we had.  Some fights were over big issues like snarky comments or backhanded remarks and other times fights were over even bigger issues like who gets to lick the bowl after my mom made brownies.  Seriously we would have throw-downs over that one.  Regardless of size, family arguments are a natural part of any family’s dynamic.  Its human nature and it makes us normal. 

So what I can’t figure out is how in the world does the Duggar family never argue? I mean never, ever argue.  I’m sure they have their occasional squabbles like the rest of us, but you would think that having 19 kids in the house would mean TLC would have more footage of the kids arguing than of them not.  But every episode shows happy, well-adjusted kids who enjoy hanging out with each other.  I’ve read articles and seen reports that the family shown on TV is what they are like in real life.

 

As I watched the season premiere last night I was sure that with all the hubbub that was going on in their family some sort of disagreement was going to ensue.  There was one scene where Jessa, Ben, and Michelle were discussing Jessa’s upcoming wedding to Ben.  While discussing the details, Jessa said she wanted to invite 1,000 people and have the reception at her parents’ house.  I was thinking “This is it!  1,000 people at their house?!  There’s no way Michelle is going to allow that.”  But amazingly the exact opposite happened.  Instead angelic Michelle nodded and let the engaged couple continue their planning without even so much as a second thought.  

Next, the soon to be Seewalds took us to their future home that they will be renting from Jim Bob and Michelle once they are married.  Now, don’t get me wrong it’s a perfectly fine house and definitely appropriate for a newlywed couple starting out life together.  But then you see to the other newlywed couple, Jessa’s sister Jill and her husband Derick, starting their life together in a HUGE house they are also renting from Jim Bob and Michelle.   Jill’s house could probably fit three of Jessa’s houses inside.  I was thinking, “Oh man here we go.  There’s no way that Jessa won’t have a snide comment about their house compared to Jill’s house.  Jessa’s house is very dated, has mold, and is much smaller.  She’s bound to be snarky about this!” 

Cut to Jessa saying the following: “The reason why Jill got the big house was because it's really close to Derick's work and so it's kind of the opposite of town. We don't mind though, really.  That's a lot of work to keep up with. They have three floors. It's got to be a lot of work." 

Amazing!  She wasn’t jealous.  She wasn't snarky.  She wasn't anything but sincere.  Wow!  I remember when my sister went to college and my mom bought her a new pair of Birkenstocks.  I was pissed!  Here she was going to college with half of my clothes and a new pair of sandals.  Petty I know, but I was 16 and my Birkenstocks had seen better days.  I can’t imagine the cacophony that would ring out if my parents dished out two vastly different houses to us.  That would be a throw down of epic proportions.

The Duggar family is almost nonhuman.  They have their own reality show, but shop at thrift stores.  They have a ton of people under one roof, yet their house is fairly neat.  But the most remarkable thing is they have 19 kids and they all get along and generally love each other.  They don’t argue with each other or with the parents.  Whatever it is Jim Bob and Michelle are doing, I need to copy it because if my kids are anything like my sisters and I were I’m going to have one hell of a fight over that brownie bowl.  

Of course they would be able to get everyone looking at the camera and smiling

Clearly blood is thicker than water or in my case thicker than a brownie bowl

This is my own personal form of crack, and my addiction runs deep

Everyone has a few go to channels that they turn to when watching TV.  Some of those channels can help build your reputation as an educated, well informed person while other channels leave you to defending your credibility to others.  It might be because of the mindless shows those channels produce, the lack of informative knowledge they spread, or the type of “news” they report.  But, no matter how mind-numbing the shows are or how much dumber you feel after watching them, you are pulled into each and every second relishing all of their uselessness.

I would love to say that when I watch TV my go to channels are PBS and the History Channel, but let’s face it, I write a blog about pop culture.   If it wasn’t obvious, I love the E! channel.   Despite the fact that some member of the Kardashian family is being shown on E! at any given moment, I can’t seem to switch channels.  It’s like I am hypnotized.   I know it’s pointless television, yet I have to watch it.  From their reality shows to their documentaries to their news programs I can’t seem to find a way out of the entertainment whirlwind of E!.

One E! show I enjoy watching is E! News.  Now to call it news is to use the term in the loosest form of the word.  While the rest of the news world is reporting on global issues and world hunger, E! is reporting that Kim Kardashian cut her hair and what Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds named their baby.  No doubt this is not hard hitting news, but like a moth to a flame it draws you in.  I mean how could you go about your day if you knew that Kim Kardashian’s hair was still long when it in fact had been cut.  See what I mean people, we need this channel, and in all honesty at times we crave it.

I’m sure it’s hard for the producers of E! news to fill their hour long show every day.  Some days the entertainment world is lively and hoppin’, like when JT joined up with his fellow N’SYNC members at last year’s VMA awards or when Salange Knowles beat the crap out of Jay-Z.  But most often, there aren’t any major stories for the anchors to report on.  When this happens we are left with news stories that leave us with more questions than answers.  For example, take a recent piece they did on Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest and greatest craze of v-steams.  (If you aren’t sure what v-steams are check it out on her pretentious and irritating website “Goop”.)  Not only did E! News think that the absurdness of v-steams was news worthy, but they also sent a correspondent to a spa to give us an eyewitness account.  After watching that segment I remember thinking “Ok, maybe it’s time I branch out on my new sources.”  Cut to me the next night flipping right back to E! because they had breaking news about fashion week or Jason Kennedy’s wedding or some other earth shattering event that I just had to see.

Take tonight for example.  I am perusing the E! website and I see the headline:

 “Khloe Kardashain Brought the Girls Out for Kanye West’s New York Fashion Week Show (And We Don’t Mean Kylie and Kendal Jenner)”  

Immediately I am torn between utter annoyance and uncontrollable curiosity.  While I can’t believe someone actually typed those words into a headline, I can’t wait to click on the link to see what the article is about.  Again I am sucked into the E! channel, powerless against its pop culture ways.  

When it comes down to it, E!’s depth of news is about as deep as Tara Reid’s dramatic acting in "Sharnado", but damn if I can’t stay away from it.  This is my own personal form of crack, and my addiction runs deep.  So the next time you want to find out if Miley Cyrus shaved her legs or Kim Kardashian blinked turn to E! for the latest and most up to date in real life time suckage.

"Pop of Culture" or  for me "Pop of Crack"

The cast of E! News - clearly the next recipients of the Pulitzer Prize

Clothes make the crazy.

I’ll admit it.  I've never been the most up to date with fashion.  I may or may not have been one of the last people in middle school to stop tight rolling my jeans.  And maybe in college I owned way too many animal print fitted tank tops.  And so what if in high school the dress I wore to my first dance was so bad that I have since thrown away any photographic proof that it existed (and no I will not go into detail what it looked like).  I didn’t know any better.  I was a victim of fashion naivety. 

  

Kids today don’t know how good they have it.  There’s “Fashion Police” on television, Instagram where you can follow stylists, and cameras on phones where you can take a picture of yourself before you go out to see exactly how great or busted you look.  Obviously, kids have no excuse to be misguided in fashion. 

The same could be said for celebrities.  With endless amounts of money and a stylist at the tips of their fingertips, there really is no reason for them to make a fashion mistake.  Yet, without fail they are constantly missing the mark.  Specifically, the Kardashians. 

It seems this family of “fashion moguls” can’t get a fashion clue.  To showcase my point, I have highlighted two of the more famous Kardashians and the recent faux pas they have made. 

Let's take Kris Jenner who unfortunately has committed crimes against fashion by failing to acknowledge that despite what she thinks, she is in fact not 19. 

Here we have Kris sporting a pair of “Jackie O” sunglasses and a tweed jacket, matched with a pair of transparent pants. 

Wait a pair of transparent pants?  What does that even mean?  Is she walking around in see through pants?  It’s so bizarre.  I mean I guess I get it.  She wants to be known as the 4^th Kardashian sister, but there’s one small problem, she's in like her sixties! Kris, no matter what you do, you will always be older than your children.  I guess it’s just one of these mean jokes life plays on you.  Do us all a favor and the next time you go out, please put on a pair of real life, actual pants, not pants that would be found in the Adam and Eve Lingerie catalog.

Up next we have Kim K and baby North.

One website quoted this for the dynamic duo’s outfits back in Septmeber 2014.

“While Kim paired her sheer jumpsuit with stilettos, North finished off her lacy evening ensemble with her tried-and-true Doc Martens, pulling together the effortless downtown look.”

I’m not quite sure how this black jumpsuit/leotard/bathing suit/whatever it is she is wearing and lace pants qualifies as an “effortless downtown look”.  To me an effortless outfit is a nice pair of jeans with a cute top or a dress and kickin’ pair of heels.  This outfit looks to me like it required lots and lots of effort, most likely by her “team” of workers who are graciously thanked for their hard work with botox (see “Merry Christmas.  Now go fix your face.” for more on that matter).    

You know, come to think about it, my daughter and North really aren’t that different after all.  North is shown here wearing “Doc Martens”.  Yesterday my daughter spent all day in her “Doc McStuffins”.  North is photographed in her “evening ensemble”.  My daughter also spent last night in her “evening ensemble”.  Granted it was because she had spilled spaghetti-ohs and milk on her “daytime ensemble” and had to be changed, but still it was evening when she was changed and it was a different ensemble that she was changed into.

Despite all of the well-dressed celebrities out there, some people feel that the Kardashians are fashion authorities.  I admit that there are times when I see one of them and I think “Wow, they look great.”  However, more times than not that isn't the case.  Maybe it's as the saying goes - "Clothes make the man".  But if that is true, where does that leave the Kardashians?  Maybe when comes to them clothes make the crazy.