Wednesday, January 8, 2014

#annoying

Moms have a special bond.  We know what life is really like when you are down in the trenches of motherhood.  We understand the joys that come when you see your child take their first steps or when they hold your hand as you walk down the street.  We also understand the pitfalls of motherhood like when you come to work with spit-up on your clothes or when you realize that in the hustle of the morning you forgot to put on make-up.  When things like this happen, all moms can sympathize.  We know exactly how it feels and instead of judging each other we give that empathetic nod of “Don’t worry sista, we totally understand and have been there.”


But maybe that is just for all “normal” moms.  Maybe Hollywood moms fall into a different category.  Maybe their perception of motherhood is slightly (or vastly) skewed than ours.  You have to admit that being a Hollywood mom is not easy, what with all of the large paychecks, personal chefs, and live in nannies.  How do they have the energy to sit in that chair for hours on end to get their hair and make-up done for a photo shoot or interview?  So naturally when I saw that Giselle Bundchen posted a photo on Instagram with the hashtage “#multitaksing” my heart just went out to her.  I can only imagine the stress of her trying to nurse her baby while getting full on glam.  Oh wait, I think I have a hashtag for that - #vomit!  Maybe “multitasking” translates differently in Portuguese because Giselle’s idea of “multitasking” translates to a freaking spa day for the rest of us.

“Ordinary” moms truly understand the meaning of multitasking, and just so you know it doesn’t mean nursing your baby while you are getting your hair, make-up, and nails done.  Real multitasking is vacuuming the house with the baby securely strapped in a Baby Bjorn, taking 30 minutes to fold a load of towels one handed because the other hand is cleaning up spit up, or the precipice of mommyhood – using to the bathroom while carrying your bundle of joy (oh come on ladies, you know you have been there).

Aside from the obvious annoyance of the picture, I think the worst part of the photo was how she tried to relate to all the other moms out there.  It was almost offensive, like she thought we would agree with her and say something like “Oh that Giselle, how on earth does she get it all done in a day?”  Honestly, I think I would have preferred the hashtag to read something else like #jealousyet or #justanotherWednesay.  At least that way it wouldn't be insult to injury for the rest of us.  It’s bad enough that she’s a Victoria Secret model, that she’s married to an NFL quarterback, and that she is multi-millionaire.  I even bet her boobs are just as nice and perky as they were pre-pregnancy.  But to post a picture like that to try to relate to us about being a multitasking mom?  Well that’s just #annoying.

the before picture with her hashtag:
#multitasking
my hashtag for this picture:
#doyouknowwhatmultitaskingmeans

the after picture:
Apparently this picture was taken with "only three hours of sleep" 
(and a hair, nail, and make-up stylist)
my hashtag for this picture:
#itslikelookinginthemirror