Last Sunday night the Video Music Awards were on
MTV. While this used to be a staple of
my youth, I have since moved onto more age appropriate shows like “Keeping up
with the Kardashians” and “Fashion Police”.
You know shows that really reflect quality television. Honestly, I can’t tell you the last time I
watched MTV for a prolonged period of time. However, that all went out the window very
quickly when I heard about this year’s VMA show. The show was all that I ever dreamed it would
be. It had a great performance, annoying
celebrities, and it left me with the lingering sting of realizing that I will
have to live out the rest of my life as a normal, non-famous person.
Afterwards, I took the time to sit down and reflect on
all that was pop music for today’s generation.
When I was done, I was able to break the show down into three categories
– the Good, the Bad, and the WTF.
The Good
Not that I even need to explain “the Good” section, but
in case you missed it I can say it all in just two letters - JT. Justin Timberlake received the something or
other award. Blah, blah, blah. Who cares
about that?! What was really important
was his live performance in which he sang snip bits of his most popular
songs. It really didn’t matter to me
what he sang or that the volume to the television was even on. As long as he is on screen, I’m good. However, his performance was nothing short of
A-MAZ-ING.
I couldn’t share my enthusiasm with anyone since my husband
was smart enough to watch tv downstairs, so I was left with texting my all of
my excitement and awe to my sister. Throughout
his 15 minute performance, my sister and I sent 25 text messages to each other.
Our texts to each other read like a face
to face conversation.
My sister: “I wonder
if it’s just going to be him for a while and NSYNC later in the show?”
Me: “Good
point. Not liking the outfit, though he
does make the wedding ring look hot.”
My sister: “OMG I just
said the exact same thing!”
Me: “Oh I love this song!”
My sister: “He’s like ‘Don’t touch me’ (to those girls).”
Me: “If I touched
him I wouldn’t let go.”
My sister: “Yeah I just said I’d probably lick his hand
or something.”
Me: “Totally.”
My sister: “NSYNC
baby!”
Me: “#%$*@!” (I am sure you can guess what I said.)
Me: “That was not
enough NSYNC.”
My sister: “But it
was good and action packed. This is
about JT, not those clowns.”
Me: “True. Enough
Taylor Swift already. So sad it’s
over. Definitely not worth watching now.”
My sister: “For real.”
To put the title “the Good” with Justin Timberlake is
really an insult to him. It obviously doesn’t
describe the true awesomeness that is Justin Timberlake. To be honest, there probably aren’t enough
words to accurately articulate his brilliance and overall fabulousness. So for now, we will just leave it as the good - the very, very good.
The Bad
MTV does a lot of great things. It showcases the latest of today’s hit
music. It produces ridiculous reality
shows that are nothing short of brain damage.
It keeps the youth of America informed on the not so important issues of
today. It also makes you feel really,
REALLY old. I mean old people. While I was watching the show I realized that
I didn’t know most of the presenters and performers. How is that possible? I know I’m 32 years old, but I pride myself
on maintaining the mindset of my youth.
I had all these “old people” thoughts running through my mind like, “What
song is this?”, “Her dress is way too tight.”, and “Could that kid from
One Direction get a haircut?” To put it
mildly, it was disturbing. I know that I’m
no spring chicken, but come on. I was
32 when I began watching Sunday’s show and 72 when I finished watching the show. Needless to say, Grandma aka me was none too
pleased about that.
The WTFs
Obviously there were many bad moments at the VMAs like
Rhianna’s mullet and the overdone screen time of Taylor Swift. Did anyone else notice that Taylor Swift didn’t
know the words to the Justin Timberlake songs?
She’s a pop music star. How in the
world can she not know the words to his songs?
I’ll just file it as another reason why Taylor Swift grates on my nerves.
Obviously the one of the biggest WTFs of the night was
Miley Cyrus. Her performance was
disgusting and made her look like trailer trash, but the real crime was that
outfit. For crying out loud she was
wearing a onesie with a giant teddy bear face.
WTF Miley! WTF! Please for the love of God, do everyone a favor and stop sticking
your tongue out, put on some clothes, and at the very least grow your hair back
out.
And Robin Thicke.
Robin, Robin, Robin. W. T.
F. Not only was your performance gross,
but you looked like (in the words of my friend) Beetlejuice. What a terrible outfit.
Regardless of each and every WTF of the night, the
crowning WTF moment has to go to Lady Gaga.
It’s not just because of the weird nun portrayal at the beginning of her
performance or even that she finished the performance in a G-string and shell
outfit. Oh no. She really out WTF-ed herself this time. The
best moment of the night was watching Will Smith and his kids watch Justin
Timberlake perform with Lady Gaga sitting in front of them – in her thong. She was dancing and grooving to the music in
her thong while Will Smith’s children were sitting behind her. Did she not ever think, “WTF, maybe I should
put some pants on so I don’t have to expose my jiggly butt to children.”? WTF Lady Gaga, even for you.
There you have it everyone. The VMAs have taken apart and dissected into what
it was – the good, the bad, and the WTF.
I guess what we really need to ask ourselves is this - Is the show really full of the biggest and
brightest music stars or is it just a bunch of ridiculousness? Is it all wrong or is it just what it
should be. Maybe it’s supposed to be a
ridiculous show that pushes the envelope. Maybe I just don’t get it because I have out grown the VMAs. Maybe I have
officially become old. WTF my friends, WTF.
a new level of obsession has been reached
Justin Timberlake - the oh so very, very good
One Direction - not sure which one needs a haircut the most
my unfortunate aging - the bad
The bear's face says it all
Miley Cyrus - WTF
this outfit needs some "Blurred Lines"
Robin Thicke - WTF
Lady Gaga - not a care in the world
meanwhile . . .
Will Smith and his kids - don't worry guys, we'll say it for you
WTF
